


Fire and Ice

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-19
Updated: 2004-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-01 06:05:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some say the world will end in fire. Some say in ice. For Lex it ends with both. It ends with Clark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire and Ice

## Fire and Ice

by Euphony

[]()

* * *

_Some say the world will end in fire_  
 _Some say in ice_  
 _From what I've tasted of desire_  
 _I hold with those who favour fire_

* * *

_Prologue_

Light another cigarette here in the shadows and let the ashes mark the minutes until the painkillers to take hold. Or maybe they already have because the smoke is moving like code in the black and I find that I'm transfixed trying to crack its hidden texts. I'm certain that's not normal. Not that pacing alone in the dark of the penthouse is exactly normal to begin with. Well, maybe it is for me. I've always preferred the shadows, but you know that already. You know it all. You were the first riddle I ever tried to crack, the only mystery that became more foreign the deeper I delved. They say the biggest mystery is death, but I've already got its number. Or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter. You were the only answer I ever really wanted. 

So the high is definitely kicking in because I'm feeling pretty fucking numb. (Are you sure that's the drugs, Luthor?) Not that it matters, because as anyone who's gone through it will tell you, it's not the pain but the loss that really hurts. The body memory that screams like the blood pounding through your veins that something crucial is missing. Phantom pains. 

And it's all so funny in that pathetic way that's come to define me these days. Because I don't know why after all these years I still mentally address everything to you, Clark. But that's a lie. It's because there is no one else. You're the only one who ever really listened. 

Lately I've been waking up in the dead of night positive that I'm drowning. That you never saved me that day. I'm somewhere rotting on the bottom of the riverbed and everything that's happened since is an oxygen deprived hallucination, and everything's already black and gone. But as I come to my senses, I light a cigarette and take a drag and watch the smoke curl from lungs, dancing in sombre confirmation of my continued existence before diffusing into the night air. It's only then that I'm certain I'm still breathing. 

But I still have my doubts that I was saved. 

* * *

I. _Phantom Pains_

LeXCorp Penthouse, Metropolis: October 18, 2021, 10:47 p.m. 

"President Luthor?" 

There are voices that regardless of how long it has been without hearing them, you are always still listening. Then there are others that regardless of having heard them every day for a significant portion of your life, you would neither be surprised nor disappointed if they never reached your ears again. It was really just the nature of Lex's life that it was always the latter that walked through his door. He didn't even bother turning around. 

"I haven't been president for a long time. The title isn't necessary." 

"Force of habit, I guess." Well, at least habit Lex could understand. 

Lex picked a packet of cigarettes up from the table, shook a one free, and pulled it from the pack with his lips, tossing the half full remains back on the table. Flicking open the Zippo, he lit it with the first strike of his thumb, then discarded it too, as he let the first slow drag of smoke into his lungs. It was a long, drawn out process that for some might have been a matter of image, but for Lex was simple necessity. Some things were just harder to do with only one hand. Pulling the cigarette from his lips, he turned to face his former vice-president. 

"What do you want, Pete?" 

The well-dressed black man furrowed his brow disapprovingly. "When did you start smoking?" 

"When I found out I was dying of cancer", Lex answered dryly. 

Pete seemed unamused, which was a pity because Lex always found it pretty damned amusing. "Well, you always did have a backwards way of doing things." There was noticeable strain to Pete's voice, and Lex knew damn well there was hidden meaning in the jab. Like all things that passed Smallville lips there it had that unique blend of passive-aggressive accusation and hypocrisy. There was not a word left their lying mouths that didn't contain some kind of backhanded insult. 

Lex's just shrugged it off lightly. One had grown accustomed to being thought the villain. "My methods never seemed at issue when they helped you into office." And it was the simple truth, his chief weapon. Not that he wanted to get into a battle of ethics with Pete this evening. That was always tiresome, and dying tended to make one prioritize these things. Instead he pinned Pete in the doorway with a look. "What do you _want_ , Pete?" 

It was only under his intimidating scrutiny that it became apparent to Lex just how worn out Pete was looking, dark rings circling dark eyes. Pete stood irresolute, considering how to approach whatever issue had brought him to Lex's penthouse in the middle of the night, uninvited and nowhere near the vicinity of welcomed. Not that that anyone was, nowadays. Lex had lost any interest in visitors somewhere around the time he had lost his hand. He waited impassively for Pete to ask whatever he had come to ask. No one bothered to visit Lex unless a favour was involved. 

It came as little surprise that Pete was hesitating. Even after all these years working together, he was loathed for ask favours of a Luthor. It had always seemed to Lex that Pete's tendency to hesitate when it came down to the wire was the very reason why Pete would always be the man behind the man, and never the man in front of the camera. He thought too fucking much, and thought tended to get in the way of getting things done. 

Pete finally decided on a play. "You haven't been watching the news, have you?" 

Lex gave half-shrug like an insincere apology. "I stopped watching it when I stopped making it", he lied. As a matter of fact, he had stopped just before that. The last article he had read was written by one Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet. " _Lex Luthor Diagnosed with Terminal Cancer_ ". He had wondered briefly if Clark had asked for the assignment-- right before he had tossed it into the fire and watched it brown and curl in the flames. He extinguished his cigarette like he held a personal grudge against it. "Scotch?" he asked politely. 

Pete declined with a quick shake of the head, continuing undaunted. "Perhaps you should start. It's Superman--" 

Lex cut him off abruptly. He'd rather they take turns stabbing sharp objects into what remained of his right arm. "Why should I give a fuck about Superman?" 

Pete looked him over with shrewd appraisal. "There was a time when he was all you seemed to care about", he responded flatly. It was an obvious truth that Lex was trying to ignore for the sake of the coming conversation. 

"Well, that time has passed." Lex turned towards the bar to pour himself a drink. He was pretty sure at this point he was going to need it. 

"What about Clark Kent then?" 

Lex's head snapped around a little to quickly, betraying more interest than he had actually intended. Lex turned his attention back to his glass with a slight wince at the telling display of personal curiosity. "I'm afraid the time has passed on that, too", he replied edgily, adding a little more scotch to his glass. He felt a sharp tingle where his right hand used to be, mentally flexing phantom fingers that itched in his mind like memories and accusations. 

"Fine, then." Pete sensed the futility of the current mode of attack, and tried out another. "How about being right?" 

Lex seemed to consider that for a moment before gesturing with his glass for towards the couch, "Now that...I always care about." 

Pete took a seat on the fine leather sofa before continuing. Lex settled into a chair directly across. "It's Superman. He's... threatening...well...everyone." Pete laughed uncomfortably, though the set of his features told Lex that he found nothing funny in any of it. "The president. The UN. The world... He's demanding that they yield control to his exclusive authority. He's..." Visible lines of strain marked Pete's perpetually young face. He stared out the window, eyes growing distant. "He's not himself anymore." 

Lex took that in with a slow sip of his scotch, observing the other man with cool interest. "What does that mean exactly?" 

Pete's eyes snapped back into focus, meeting Lex's in challenge. "What do you know about red kryptonite?" 

Lex raised an intrigued eyebrow. "Enough", he responded evenly, taking a sip of his scotch. "Cadmus Labs had been running experiments on it. That is, until the lab blew up yesterday evening." Pete did not appear surprised by this, nor did Lex expect him to be. This was the part of the conversation where they went through the pointless exposition of things they both already knew, and Lex was goddamned bored already. 

"You know that Superman was present at the time of the explosion?" 

"No, but I suspected as much." Superman was always fucking there. 

"And you're aware of what effect the red kryptonite has on him?" 

That was most likely meant as a question of research rather than personal experience, though it wasn't random data that surged through Lex's mind. He turned the question over and over as he closed his eyes against flashes of memory. Predatory eyes with a red gleam. A smile possessing all the comfort of a floor full of broken glass to bare feet. A low voice in Lex's ear saying things that... 

When he opened his eyes he saw Pete had been watching him. He wondered briefly what his face had given away. "I have an idea... yes." 

"Well, he's been infected by the explosion, and he's dangerous. The effect grows worse with time. Normally, all we'd have to do is get the kryptonite away from him but with the kryptonite directly in his system...there's no way to stop him..." Pete rubbed his eyes, the lines deepening in his face. He sighed heavily, looking very, very tired. The tired of a man who had just realised he had become an enemy to his best friend. "There's only _one way_ to stop him" he amended. 

Lex gave a slight nod of comprehension. "You want me to help you kill Superman", he finished on the other man's behalf. Pete flinched at the words, but nodded. And suddenly Lex understood why Pete had bothered breaking their long comfortable if not amiable bout of silence. Lex had always been outspoken when it came to concerns over Superman. Everyone thought him a zealot at best, and completely unhinged at worst. Hell, maybe he was insane, but it didn't mean that he hadn't been right. He took another slow sip of his scotch. 

"And what does this have to do with Clark?" Lex enquired politely, knowing full well it was the question Pete had been trying to avoid answering directly. But nothing ever came free. Lex's help had a price, and this was it. 

"You know what it has to do with Clark", Pete responded uneasily. He was trying to politician his way out of Lex's fee. 

Lex wouldn't have it. "I do. But I want to hear it." And that seemed a reasonable request to Lex. After all, he had waited a long time to be told, even if it was only Pete doing the telling. 

"Clark Kent... is Superman." 

Lex finished off his glass in one quick swallow. He flipped the words over in his head, turning them sideways and upside-down. Examining them like the results of a long-running lab experiment. They had always existed as mere hypothesis in his ever-active mind. And now they were fact. Confirmed and verified. Clark Kent was Superman. And he... he was still Lex Luthor. He supposed it was too late to change that one. 

For the moment, at least, Lex seemed placated. "Ok... so now what do you want me to do?" 

Pete frowned at the question as though he had expected Lex to have pulled out a chunk of kryptonite then and there, and run off after Superman still dressed in nothing but his expensive silk bathrobe. "You've been obsessed with Superman for over a decade. Are you telling me you don't have any sort of backup plan for something like this?" 

Lex put down the glass with a hard clink on the glass table. His glare was pure menace. Given a lifetime one perfects the role of villain. Accepted that he wasn't. Not here and now. He leaned forward confrontationally, and dropped his voice dangerously quiet, as he spat out the words. " _Of course_ I prepared for something like this. I'm the only goddamn person in the _world_ to have adequately prepared for something like this", he growled before leaning back with resumed composure, dropping from boiling point to absolute zero before Pete could even blink. "But it's not that simple." 

For all Pete's unrufflable politicians exterior he looked shaken. But he had spent enough time playing second in command to a megalomaniac--this megalomaniac, point of fact-- that he knew how to hold his own when it came to Lex. He met the intense stare unblinkingly. "Do you care to elaborate on that, Lex?" 

Lex stood, grabbed himself a fresh cigarette from his pack, and walked towards the floor-to-ceiling windows, gazing out on the lights of Metropolis. His city. He watched the flicker of flame reflecting against the tinted glass. Just another light in the Metropolis skyline. 

"Alright", he began indulgently. "I have storehouses located in strategic areas around the world, each holding a weapon with a force roughly equivalent to a hydrogen bomb. These weapons are programmed to enter the upper atmosphere before detonating a blast of green kryptonite dust that will essentially blanket the earth, taking years--possibly decades--to clear completely. It will be high enough that it won't directly affect our air supply. It will, however, inevitably enter our water supply in small amounts. But it will also either kill Superman, or immobilize him long enough for him to be dealt with by other means." 

Pete swallowed hard, digesting the sudden rush of new information. "So what's the catch?" 

"The catch?" Lex parroted bitterly. He tapped the still bandaged stump of his right arm against the glass. "You came from Smallville, Pete. You know the catch. A significant percentage of the population suffers genetic mutation. An even higher percentage will develop cancer. And some lucky recipients..." half turned as he stretched out his arm as exhibit A, before turning back to the city "get to have both. Make no mistake, we would be inflicting an epidemic on the world." 

A weighty silence settled between them. It was Lex who broke it first, because he knew Pete was weighing the options, doing a cost benefit analysis of the situation. That's what Pete did. That's what made him valuable to Lex. 

"Pete..." he realised that he felt suddenly about as tired as the other man looked. And this... this was the tired of a man who had _long ago_ realised that he had become an enemy to his best friend. He asked the question that was undoubtedly plaguing both their minds, but only Pete currently had the answer to, "is what he's threatening worth the cost?" 

"Frankly, given the chance to take down Superman, I'm surprised you even care", Pete snapped resentfully. It was the power of fresh wounds against Lex's ever-increasing scar tissue. But God, Lex was tired of that goddamn Smallville judgement, so fucking self-righteous one small town couldn't contain it. It had made him regret ever asking Pete to be his running mate, because it never ended. For all the good he had done, he never got anything but hatred and suspicion from the good people of Smallville, and it had spread like fucking gangrene up into everything Lex had said or done since he had left. Because even after everything, they still thought they knew him. 

"It's him I don't care about, not the world", he ground through clenched teeth. 

"Funny. It always seemed the other way around." 

Lex through his smoke down at his feet, grinding it out into the hardwood floor. He'd have it replaced tomorrow. "Is what he's threatening worth the cost?" he repeated with what he considered commendable restraint. 

"Yes." There was no hesitation in Pete's answer. It was spoken as a definitive. "If there's no other way, then yes. He's going to melt the polar icecaps if his demands aren't met by noon tomorrow. All costal cities and any low-lying territories will be wiped out. The casualties..." 

"Enormous", Lex finished for him, taking it all in. He knew damn well what Superman was capable of. That was the whole reasoning behind his failsafe arsenal. At least, that was the reasoning he had used, but... He had never really _believed_... 

"By noon", Lex repeated, checking his watch. "That's a little over 13 hours. We had better move quickly." And like a sudden spark of lightning, Lex had disappeared into his bedroom, reappearing only minutes later dressed in an expensive suit, and an even more expensive prosthetic hand, discreetly covered by a leather glove. The finest in robotics, though Lex hardly ever bothered with it. He hardly bothered ever leaving his apartment. He made a beeline to the door with Pete following close behind. Lex flipped open his cell phone, calling the car around to meet them. This much could be said for Lex--despite recent bouts of inactivity, when he decided to move, he moved quickly. He always had. 

They stepped into the elevator, Lex pushing the button for the ground floor, Pete just trying to keep up with the sudden whirl of activity that was Lex set in motion. "Where are we going?" he asked. 

Lex snapped shut his phone. "To talk to an expert." 

* * *

II. _Fresh Bruises_

Lane/Kent Apartment, Metropolis: October 19, 2021, 12:16 a.m. 

"Who is it?" It was clear by the tone of the voice that the question was not meant to sound welcoming. 

"Lex Luthor" he called out calmly. 

"Fuck off, Luthor." That was record time. Even for Lois. 

"Lois", Pete spoke into the heavy oak door, "Lois, it's Pete Ross. We need to speak with you." No response. "Please, Lois. It's important. It's about Clark..." 

The deadbolt scraped open, and a crack of light appeared in the doorway that was soon filled with a sliver of a dark eye and pale skin. "What is it Pete? I don't--I don't want to talk to anyone right now." 

"I understand that Lois... but we've got to do something...about Clark. And we need your help. Can we come in?" 

The one visible eye shifted to glare accusingly at Lex, but the door swung open. In the room the television was on, but muted. It was the only light in the room, casting an unsettling glow that flickered over the Lane-Kent's modest possessions and a half dozen empty packets of cigarettes. On the screen, Superman was talking to the camera. He was smiling. The kind of smile Lex had only seen on Clark years before. The kind of smile he'd rather not have seen again. It was the kind his father had, and hell... if he could bring himself to look in the mirror these days, it was probably the kind of smile he would have seen reflected in the glass. Hungry. Ruthless. Inhuman. And if you were looking for it, if you knew what to look for, there was the faint glow of red in Clark's eyes. Lex had to rip his own eyes away from the screen. It had the same type of morbid appeal as a car wreck. 

It was only then that he noticed Lois, standing by the door looking dishevelled and covered in bruises. Her right eye was slightly swollen, and there were visible finger marks on her neck. She made a nervous move to hide them with her hair, but Clark had big hands and she had such a delicate neck. Her throat was more purple than flesh tone. 

"Stop gawking, Luthor", she snapped. Nowadays, Lex knew better than to respond to a pissed off Lois. Especially one who was pacing the room like a frightened animal. But he didn't bother to stop looking. It wasn't in his nature to acquiesce so easily to Lois. 

Ever the peacemaker, Pete tried to defuse the potentially explosive situation that occurred whenever Lex and Lois were in the same room. "Lois, we need information. We need to know everything that happened since the explosion." 

That was both the question Lois was expecting, and one that she wasn't particularly keen on answering. She paced nervously, running her hands through her mussed locks, and throwing the occasional flickering glance towards the television, eventually picking up one of the discarded packets and shaking it, only to toss it to the floor when she found it empty. Lex stepped forward, removing a cigarette from the silver case he kept in his jacket. He held it out to her. Lois eyed it with trepidation before snatching it from Lex's fingers. She patted her pocket in search of a lighter, but Lex was already holding out a flame in offering. Lois accepted it without shooting one of her trademark glares, which Lex knew enough to recognize as gratitude on her part. She took a drag, and when she spoke she waved the lit cigarette in gesture. 

"There's not much to tell, really. I knew there was something wrong the minute he walked in the door. He--he just wasn't right. He took a shower. He got dressed and said he was going out. And he wasn't wearing his glasses you know? So I asked him, why aren't you wearing your glasses, Clark? And he said he didn't need them anymore. He said things were going to change. He said... he said he was tired of his life as Clark Kent. That he was meant for more than that. So I told him, you know, I told him you _are_ doing something more. You save people. You're fucking _Superman_ for Christ sakes! And he said that that was all going to change. And then I asked him what the hell was wrong with him... and he...he..." Lois was making a noble but ultimately ineffective effort to hold back her tears. 

"He grabbed me by the neck. He told me what was wrong with him was that he had wasted all this time on this pathetic life. Our pathetic life. He said that it was about time he fulfilled his destiny. Then he threw me against the wall." Her fingers ghosted over the swollen eye at the memory. Her hand was trembling. She looked towards Pete with a fragile pleadingness that made Lex's temper flare in unexpected sympathy. He didn't like to see Lois Lane, a woman known for making grown men cry, look so pitiable. Her eyes seemed so lost as she spoke, and he supposed that he understood that feeling. "And then he left. And that's it. That's all I know." She lowered her head in something too close to shame for Lex's comfort. "Not much help, I know." 

In the silence, Pete was staring at the television again. Lois was staring at a picture on the wall. It was of her and Clark on vacation together. A sweet, smiling photograph. Lex felt unsettled while watching them both. "Actually, it tells us something very important" he spoke cautiously, knowing the dangerous ground he was now treading. "If he showered and changed, it rules out the possibility that it was just a surface exposure." His words seemed to awake Lois from her trance. She sent Lex a look dripping with venom, which for once caused him to look away. Not because he couldn't handle Lois's anger, because at this point the familiarity was actually comforting. It was the sudden extinguishing of hope lingering just behind the glare that Lex didn't want to face. Didn't want to be the cause of. He respected Lois, and despite their relationship, which practically defined the term antagonism, he took no joy in her pain. 

Lex kept his eyes averted. "Is there anything else you can tell us? Anything he might have said... About the red kryptonite." 

Lois seemed to compose herself, but her eyes looked straight through them, straight through walls, straight through everything to the nothingness that lurks between molecules and beyond the bounds existence. And when she spoke her voice was haunted. 

"I asked once. He had told me about what it could do, and I asked what it was like. For him. He told me once that it was like flying. That it's like--you know, when you're on the ground then you see the world as if you're part of it. And people have faces. They're real, you know? And then when you're flying suddenly you can see things differently. You know? Clearer, he said. More detached. Because you felt so high above them... you _were_ so high above them. Everybody looked so small, he said... so insignificant... like they couldn't possibly matter... like no one could possibly matter..." Lois wiped absently at her eyes, and flinched where fingers brushed bruises. "And he used to get this look in his eyes when he talked about... and I knew he was remembering... imagining what it was like to not care anymore..." 

As she realised her company and surroundings, her eyes snapped back into focus, meeting sharply with Lex's. "I never asked again." 

Lex nodded, moving to stand beside Pete, who was still fixated on the screen. There was really nothing left to ask. Nothing he didn't already know. Nothing that could make a difference at this point. And he really wanted to be anywhere but here. "Come on, Pete. Let's go." 

Pete looked around, dazed, like he was just realising where he was. "What? Oh...Yeah... yeah, let's go." They made their way towards the door. "Thank you for your time, Lois." 

"Wait", Lois jabbed out her cigarette. "Where are you going? Take me with you." 

"Lois", Lex protested, "you don't want to be--" 

"Don't fucking tell me what I want, Luthor." But there was no anger there. Only a weary stubbornness. Lois is the one person more stubborn than Lex, and he knew it all too well. 

"Fine", because Lex was in no mood to argue. "Let's go, then." 

* * *

III. " _I have an idea_... _yes_ " 

Luthor Mansion, Smallville: November 16, 2002, 2:04 p.m. 

"Where are you going?" 

According to everything Lex had ever learned concerning the laws of physics and the layout of the mansion, Clark should not have been able to get from Lex's office to the parking garage both completely unnoticed and before him. Of course, there was little point in bringing this up. Even with Clark acting more mysteriously than usual. Especially with Clark acting more mysteriously than usual. He had to get to the Kent Farm. He didn't know what was going on with Clark these last couple days, but Jonathan and Martha must be frantic with worry if Clark was making to run away to Metropolis. 

"I told you, Clark." Lex smiled his way through the bluff. "I just have some things that need to be taken care of before Metropolis." 

If his lie was transparent, it certainly didn't show on Clark's face. Clark stepped forward, and Lex took a step back against the blue Lamborghini. Normally he didn't mind Clark in his personal space. In fact, he actively encouraged it. But there was something about Clark's behaviour that was unsettling. Something different in his looks, his walk, the way he held himself and--oh God--the way he was pressing his whole body indecently close against Lex, smiling like a barracuda...and why did his eyes look red? Lex squinted to get a better look, but it was gone. Clark, on the other hand, was still there, leaning in close, and forcing Lex to bend back against the car just to maintain breathing space. He dropped his voice to a low sex-soaked menace that Lex had thought he owned the patent on. 

"And there are a few thing that I need taken care of before Metropolis too, Lex." 

The erection pressed against Lex's hip gave him some idea of what. Lex's eyes strayed downward, and Clark's smile widen. Lex lost the power of speech. 

"Clark...I..." 

"Want me? Are hard? Are thinking what it would be like to suck my cock?" The smug look Clark used to punctuate that sent shivers down Lex's spine. "Yes, I know. Now what are you going to do about it?" 

There was something definitely wrong with Clark, because he was never this aggressive, never this sexual. And there was something definitely wrong with Lex for liking it. Clark stepped back and undid his belt. Lex fell to his knees entranced as though it were a religious rite. His hands felt clumsy against the buttons of Clark's pants, fumbling like a virgin at the shock of this moment. Of this Clark. He looked up at Clark who narrowed his eyes appraisingly like if he was trying to decide if Lex was worth the fuck. It was hot in that sick way that turned Lex on, though he didn't really want to think about that too hard. Lex licked his lips for suction. Grabbing Clark's erection firmly, he eased it into his mouth, sucking slow and hard on the head, tracing his tongue in widening circles. 

Clark groaned loudly, the sound bouncing off the concrete walls and echoing through the cavernous garage. He laid a hand firmly on the back of Lex's head, pushing himself deeper into Lex's mouth. Lex willed his throat to relax, swallowing repeatedly to avoid gagging on the hard length Clark was shoving in with rough enthusiasm. Clark began to thrust faster, fucking Lex's mouth hard and deep, the muscles in Lex's jaw protesting indignantly at the abuse. But he couldn't have pulled away if he had tried because Clark had not released his head and had as much give as a brick wall. Clark was in control, and he was making sure Lex knew it. 

A few last thrusts and Clark came with a low cry. Lex swallowed obediently. He struggled to catch his breath, raising himself painfully from stiff knees, using the car door for support. Clark zipped himself up adding glibly, "You're good at that. I bet you've had a lot of practice at that, a rich little faggot like yourself." 

That knocked the wind out of Lex all over again, his brow furrowing as he searched Clark's face for some hint of a joke. When he found none he couldn't hide the pain that twisted his features. He had been called worse in his days in Metropolis. Much worse. Probably still to this day in Smallville, though they all had the good sense to do it behind his back. But from Clark it felt like a twist of steal in his stomach. 

Clark just laughed and touched Lex's face. There was nothing tender in the touch. It was dominance. It was a mind fuck. And it made his skin crawl just like it did every time his father did it. 

"I'll go wait in the office", Clark said unconcernedly, turning and walking away in his $2000 coat, leaving Lex feeling like a $2 hooker. 

Lex climbed into the car and just sat there staring at the wall and gripping the wheel until his hands ached. He slid the keys in the ignition, and revved the engine before pulling out of the garage, grinding his teeth against the threat of tears. But he wasn't going to allow that. He willed his jaw to unclench as he drove, keeping his eyes steadily on the road. He just kept telling himself that wasn't Clark Kent. That wasn't his friend. _That wasn't Clark_. 

* * *

IV. _ _Bleed_ _ 

Cadmus Headquarters, Metropolis: October 19, 2021, 1:38 a.m. 

The areas of Cadmus Labs that hadn't been decimated by the explosion were now mostly cleared out when they arrived, and Lex immediately sequestered the lab director's office, confiscating all files relating to kryptonite that hadn't been destroyed. 

Lex flipped through page after page of collected data, hypotheses and results. There was nothing there that he didn't already know, but it was a pleasant distraction from the severely agitated pacing and poisoned glances emanating from Lois' continually changing direction. 

"Lex, will you stop wasting our fucking time with that shit?" 

Lex looked up from pages of calculations trying to reign in his annoyance with the hyperactive brunette. "Define 'wasting our time', Lois. This is the most comprehensive accumulation of data we have on kryptonite. And kryptonite is the only thing that can possibly bring Clark down." 

He could tell by the look on Lois' face that she was trying to resist punching him in the mouth. 

"Listen, Luthor, don't you fucking lecture me about kryptonite. I know more about it than anyone..." Lois' eyes grazed down over Lex's gloved prosthetic forcing a slight pause in her current tirade. "Almost anyone", she amended awkwardly. "But Clark will be scanning the area for any traces of the stuff. Plus, if it's close enough to be of any use, he'll be able to sense it." 

"Not if it's protected by lead", Pete offered because there was nothing quite like stating the obvious during crunch time. 

"He'll be scanning for that too. He's not stupid", Lex sighed, tossing the folder back onto the mountainous stack, and running his good hand over the back of his neck tiredly. An old habit. "Pete, there was a lot of kryptonite in Smallville. Is there anything else that blocked Clark's reaction to it?" 

In the wake of the question, Pete was suddenly the focus of two very intimidating stares. "Yeah... of course. I used to bury it for him. It took about a foot or two of dirt in order to dull its effects." Pete shook his head with the apologetic air of someone who realised how unhelpful the information they were providing actually was. He searched his recollections for anything more productive. "The only other thing..." 

Lois arched a finely sculpted eyebrow. "What?" 

"There were people who used to take kryptonite internally. One girl had it imbedded in her bones." 

"Tina Greer", Lex supplied, narrowing his eyes in thought. 

Pete looked slightly taken aback by Lex's power of recall, but Lex had always thought the term obsession was not to be taken lightly. "Right. He couldn't immediately detect the kryptonite in her system. Until, of course, he x-rayed her." 

Lex sorted through the stack of folders that lay discarded on the desk, extracting the file he was apparently looking for and flipping through it purposefully. He read aloud: "Skin and muscle tissue has been found to absorb the radiation emitted by the meteor rock. This accounts for the mutating effects that have been observed on the cellular level in subjects suffering long term exposure." 

Lois' eyes skimmed over the file in an instinctive curiosity developed by all reports, though in Lois' case it seemed to have been inborn. She had stopped moving long enough to send a meaningful look towards Lex. He caught her gaze in silent acknowledgement of what she had no doubt already figured out. The lab reports were dated just weeks before the story of Lex's cancer hit the papers. 

"Ok, but I don't see how this is helping us", Pete interjected, "If the kryptonite were somehow blocked by bodily tissue, it would still be observable through x-ray." 

"Not if we can grind it down and circulate it in the human bloodstream. It would be too well diffused." Lex picked up the receiver from phone that sat on the corner of the desk, heedless of Pete's growing confusion. It was almost like old times for them. "Hello, Lydia? Could you please track down Dr. Callaghan, and send him in immediately." He replaced the phone on the cradle, and began sorting through folders, pulling out various files and spreading them out like a map, eyes darting from page to page in some indiscernible pattern, his lips parting in meditation as he inspected their contents. Lois lit a cigarette, and Pete stood there in growing frustration. 

"Lex--" 

Pete was cut off by a tentative knock at the door, just before Callaghan entered. He was a tall man in his late thirties. His black hair was already peppered with grey, though his face was still young. He had always gotten along well with Lex because they were both the type of men to always maintain a cool exterior. The key difference being that for Callaghan it truly went to the core. He had a hunger for science, and an utter distain for everything else. 

"Mr. Luthor?" 

"Dr. Callaghan. I need to know the side effects of injecting kryptonite into the blood stream." 

"How much are we talking about?" 

"A lot. Enough for, say, a pint to weaken Superman", Lex illuminated distantly, still deeply invested in the files. 

"Oh. That would be death, then", Callaghan answered without hesitation or concern. 

Lex seemed undisturbed by that proclamation. "Fine. How long?" 

"I would have to run some calculations on the exact amount, but in my estimation--less than twenty four hours... the last twelve of which would probably be spent in a complete state of paralyses. And the last six of which would likely be spent completely comatose." He paused to offer a jarringly polite smile. "That is, if you're lucky. I suppose you remain conscious. The human brain really is a marvel. " 

Pete was visibly disconcerted with how blaze the doctor was being. Lex just tapped at the desk thoughtfully. "Run the calculations. I need to know the exact amount it will take. We only get one shot." Lex began reassembling the mass of paper that he had fanned out across the desk. "And send the results by secure email. We'll be taken the LeXCorp jet to Washington D.C. We need to have a chat with President Reid." 

Pete had whiplash from all the sudden turns the conversation had taken. "Whoa, Lex... what are we talking about here?" 

"Pete..." Lois spoke warningly. She was a sharp woman, and more accustomed to the workings of Lex's mind. Her eyes hadn't left Lex since she had seen the date on the folder. 

"It's a death sentence! Who would--" 

"Pete, shut up!" Lois snapped. The grateful look Lex shot her did not escape Pete's notice. And with that came dawning understanding. 

"God Lex... you're going to pump yourself full of kryptonite." It wasn't a question. They had moved beyond questions. 

Lex shifted his gaze from Lois to Pete, from understanding to a clear suspicion of Lex's mental health, and wordlessly dared Pete to challenge him. 

Pete just shook his head in disbelief. "You're insane. It's suicide. You're...insane." 

"We have less than ten hours", he responded deadly calm. Best to keep things in perspective. "Believe me, Pete, I wish things were other than they are." He sent a glance towards Lois who was now staring blankly at the wall. The bruises had darkened in the past few hours, spreading like blood on pavement. Lex turned his attention back to the files, hoping to find reprieve from the dark thoughts that scratched and tore at the back of his mind like starving dogs demanding to be fed. But there was no time for personal demons. "We don't always get what we want", he added soberly. 

* * *

V. _Boys of Summer_

No place: No time 

Clark was giggling, and Lex found it positively endearing to hear this near adult giggling like a 12 year old. Lex had him pinned to the floor by the wrists, leaning his body against Clark's to secure the victory, leaving Clark a helpless bundle of smiles, conquered and at her mercy. And there was something in the back of Lex's mind. A question. No, that wasn't right. An answer... Something he wasn't allowing himself to be aware of... because nothing came into focus but Clark, everything was blurry and flat like film shot through a telephoto lens. Like streams of light painting living patterns with the illusion of tangibility onto a screen he could not see behind but knew was there. Something wasn't right, but... 

Suddenly Clark's laughter ceased, and Lex's large office hollowed out in sudden silence. The smile slipped from Clark's lips, and Lex could feel his own vanish with it, as if he didn't know how to be happy if Clark wasn't, like he was a mirror reflecting Clark's emotions. And now Clark's features became etched with pain and distress. 

"Ow, Lex. That hurts. You're holding on too tight. You're hurting me." 

Lex released Clark's wrists and instantly found himself with his back against a very expensive Persian rug, straddled by a young farmboy caught in a fit of renewed giggles. 

"You tricked me", Lex accused calmly, not at all upset with his new position in life. 

"You let yourself be tricked", Clark shot back with a grin. 

"Is it even possible for me to hurt you?" 

Clark gazed at Lex mysteriously from under thick lashes. The flirt. "You're an intelligent guy, Lex. I'm sure you can figure out a way." 

Clark had such pretty green eyes. They sparkled gleefully like fireflies on a cool green field and made him forget the dull haze that surrounded them. He squirmed half heartedly under Clark's grasp only to find it like steel. "Are you planning on letting me up anytime soon?" 

"I don't foresee that happening, no." 

Lex grinned wickedly. "What do you foresee happening, then?" 

"I'm glad you asked", Clark returned the grin, "because it just so happens I can read destinies." 

Destinies... destinies... That meant something to Lex. He couldn't remember what but was certain it had to do with Clark. 

"Oh you can, can you?" 

"Mmmhmm", Clark nodded. He released Lex's left arm, ceasing the right more tightly and snapping the hand off at the wrist. He held up the hand for scrutiny. And that didn't make sense. Lex knew that didn't make sense but his mind was moving slow and thick like running underwater. There was a word etched in Lex's mind. FAKE. Yes, fake... the hand must be fake. But he could feel the callused fingers tracing the lines of his palm, and he would swear that he had never known anything truer than this feeling...his hand in Clark's. "See here?" Clark indicated a mark on his palm. "This is the heart line. Or where it would be if you had one. And this? This is the head line. It tells me you're going to be..." Lex crooked an expectant eyebrow. Clark's smile was wider than the Pacific. "...bald." 

Lex chuckled as Clark continued, "And your life line... Well this is strange..." He met Lex's eyes with mock gravity. "It says you should be dead." 

"I was. You saved me." On the riverbank. He remembered that. And there was that word... destiny. He remembered now. His destiny was Clark. For a moment they just stared silently, lost in a shared memory until Lex finally broke the spell. "Can I have my hand back now?" he enquired softly. 

"No. I don't think so." 

"Why not?" 

"Because you need to learn how to let go." 

"How can I let go if I don't have a hand?" 

"Fine, you big baby." 

Clark reattached the hand and shifted to lie with his full weight against Lex's body. Body to body, Lex felt genuinely warm for the first time in years, for so long that it had become a myth to him, like land to those lost at sea. He had once read about the survivors of a shipwreck adrift at sea in the black-green water, legs like bait in the company of the white tips who circled hungrily below. They were adrift for days amongst the sharks and during that time, only relief came in the form of every scream that wasn't their own, the red blood that spread like famine on the open water, granting them reprieve, and telling them the sharks had been fed. And always--always-- the fear that they would be next. So when rescued, in the warmth of their bed they dreamt of screams and the colour red, crying out as they fell asleep and as they awoke, both, because they could never tell which was the hallucination. Whether it was a cruel trick of a terror-twisted mind, or the only way to cope with the horror. Lex's mind turned that over slowly, but Clark, who seemed aware of his drifting thoughts, nuzzled in closer, breaking whatever momentum Lex had been building. 

"Mmm..." Clark sighed contentedly. "Recite me a poem", he mumbled into Lex's shoulder. 

"A poem?" 

Lex felt rather than saw Clark's nod, wrinkling his shirt against his chest. Clark raised his head to watch Lex with eager attention. Lex searched his memory, though all his mind provided was shreds of Dylan Thomas. 

"I see you boys of summer in your ruin. Man in his maggots barren. And boys are full and foreign to the pouch. I am the man--" 

"--your father was", Clark cuts him off with a knowing grin, sliding slowly up Lex's body so that they were face to face. "We are the sons of flint and pitch. O see the poles are kissing as they cross." Clark close enough so that Lex could feel the warmth of Clark's lips on his own. 

"I didn't know you liked poetry so much, Clark." He smiled winningly as he pressed into Clark's lips for a gentle kiss. 

Clark pulled away with a goofy grin. "I like that song. 'The Boys of Summer', by the Ataris." 

Lex gave an exasperated laugh and shook his head. "It's by Don Henley, Clark." 

Clark furrowed his brow before breaking out into a beaming smile, and Lex would swear that nobody wore confusion and ignorance quite as well as Clark. "No...I'm pretty sure it was the Ataris, Lex. The one about losing a girl." 

Lex laughed. It's a good thing that no one in the business world knew that he was so easily charmed by dark haired farm boys with very questionable understanding of great music. "It's not about a girl. It's about wanting back what's already lost." 

What was already lost. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lex felt the brush of fins against dangling limbs. Clark lost his smile, his face aging with sudden gravity, knowing that he'd lost. "You have to wake up, Lex", he said sadly. 

Lex sought to find solid ground as the spell unravelled but found there was nothing underneath but the blackness and uncertainty. He was remembering. Screams and red. It was the sharks that were real. 

"Lex, wake up." 

* * *

VI. _Allies_

LeXCorp Jet, on root to Washington DC: October 19, 2021, 4:16 a.m. 

A man like Lex could never afford a long transition between sleep and wakefulness. It took about half a second for Lex to register where he was, and who was ordering him out of his peaceful illusions. And fuck him sideways, for it. Lex was always moody at being woken up. "What do you want, Pete?" 

Pete had taken the seat directly across from Lex. Lex glanced out the window in a futile attempt to gauge approximate location, but it was pitch black beyond the glass, clouds smothering the city grids far below, darkness swallowing them like the mouth of a hungry god. There was minimal lighting on within the cabin, most of it emanating from the glowing screen of Pete's laptop. In the far corner Lex could barely make out the collection of shadows he assumed to be Lois. The rising plume of smoke vanishing like promises in the night. 

"The lab just sent the final figures on the kryptonite for you to review. And President Reid has been contacted. She'll be there to meet us for briefing on arrival." 

"Good." God, Lex was tired. 

Pete was eyeing Lex with obvious apprehension, and something that if Lex didn't know any better, he might be termed concern. "Lex... are you sure you want to go through with this?" 

Lex gave a derisive snort. "Want? No. But want has precious little to do with it... I will." 

"I would have thought you would derived some satisfaction from it all", Pete continued distantly, staring out the window like he was reading prophecies in the black. "It's what you always wanted, to finally take down Superman." 

Lex exhaled with bitter resignation. "You have no idea what I want." He wasn't even sure he himself was privy to that information. There was movement amongst the shadows. The cigarette had been extinguished and he found that he could now only locate Lois by the sound of her breathing. Lex knew instinctively that she was listening. 

"It's ironic." Pete shifted his full attention away from the monitor and towards Lex, evaluating him in a way Lex was entirely familiar with, though never quite used to. "Who would have ever thought it would go down like this? Lex Luthor playing the triumphant hero to Superman's dangerous sociopath." Even in the dim light he could make out the distain flickering across Pete's features. 

And Lex knew that he could not even respond to that. It was the truth. Clark was always the one bent on playing hero. And yet, there it was and here they were. He couldn't even be surprised by it all because he knew the moment he heard that he would be the one to stop Clark--or die trying. The funny thing about destinies is that they can't operate independently. They had always been sides of the same coin. He had always been the shadow that marked the boundaries of Clark's light. For the rest of the world it was a shocking reversal of fate, but Lex found himself as comfortable as a photograph is with its negative. 

But for some it would always be easier to see him as the bad guy no matter what he did. "Tell me something, Pete. Given how little you've never actually liked me, why did you ever agree to be my vice-president?" 

Pete crooked a considering eyebrow. "I guess for the same reason you asked. The same reason that I came asking for your help tonight. It was to my advantage." Pete returned his attention to his laptop, adding as an afterthought, "You don't have to like someone to be their ally." 

Silence stretched between them, returning Lex to thoughts of looming dawn and denied sleep. In the corner, a flame sparked to life as Lois lit herself another cigarette. 

* * *

VII. _By Authority of the President_

Oval Office, Washington DC: October 19, 2021, 6:21 a.m. 

"This is insane. _You_ are insane." President Reid was a slim, reserved looking woman in her early fifties. She wore an impeccably tailored suit, and her greying hair pulled back in French twist. She was a strong woman who never tried to hide her age or bullshit her way out of giving a direct opinion, and Lex had always respected her as a politician. That is why he didn't seem to mind the carefully manicured finger pointed towards him throwing question on his mental stability. 

"That's what they say", Lex responded dryly. He stood leaning against the far wall close to the doorway allowing Pete to explain the finer points of the plan. His eyes roamed around the room. It had been his office once upon a time. Nothing had changed. 

"I am NOT going to support what at best amounts to a Hail Mary kamikaze mission and at worst a fucking apocalypse." 

"Madam President", and here is where Pete was worth his weight in highly processed kryptonite. He always managed to bring out the logic in Lex's lunatic plans, "there aren't a lot of options available to us. Superman is too fast to be taken out by any localized attacks. We have to take action on a larger scale." 

"But if we could just get close enough to--" 

"He'll be scanning the area for any signs of lead or krypto--" 

"There has to be another w--" 

"There isn't", broke a single voice into the cacophony. Pete and President Reid both turned to look at Lex who had contented himself to stand in silence for the majority of the conversation. But now as he spoke it was with absolute control over everyone in the room. "This is what is going to take place. I am going to meet Superman just before the noon deadline, and I will attempt to stop him personally. Before I leave, however, I will set the timer on the weapons for noon. I will have, in my possession the only remote. If I am successful, I will disarm the weapons before they have a chance to detonate. It I am not..." Lex let the last of that thought to hang in the air. They had just spent the last half hour arguing over the "if not". 

"I'm sorry, President Luthor, but I can't allow you to be the only one who has the power to--" 

"With all do respect, Madam President", Lex cut off authoritatively, "I _am_ the only one with the power. You are not the one in control of this situation. I'm here as a courtesy, president to president. And, of course, I am here to ask for your help in relaying a message to Superman." Stalemate. The stood staring at each other over the high gloss finish of the presidential desk. 

President Reid exhaled a slow breath, and brushed a loose stand of hair back from her eyes. She was too exhausted to go head to head with a former president, at least one as formidable as Lex Luthor. "What's the message?" 

"11:30. The roof of LeXCorp Tower." 

"That's the highest building in Metropolis. You won't even be able to have snipers in case you fail." 

"I know that. And so does he." 

President Reid knew it was futile to fight with a man like Lex once he had made his decision, but she was clearly searching for an argument that could dissuade him. She could find none. "But are you certain this is a wise decision? I mean, if you fail, maybe it's better to just yield to Superman's demands..." 

Lex levelled the president with a look of absolute conviction. "We're not taking about Superman. Superman is dead." _Clark Kent is dead_. "He died the moment the red kryptonite hit his blood stream. You were talking to Kal-El, and Kal-El is an invulnerable alien with no conscience or respect for human life, and with the power to transform Metropolis into a wasteland of fire and ice faster than you can bat an eye. I am about to seriously anger said alien. If I fail, there isn't time for hesitation." President Reid fidgeted under the intensity of Lex's stare, appearing visibly relieved when he finally looked away. "Wisdom has nothing to do with it", he said simply. 

It was Pete who finally broke the tension of the moment. "So will you send the message to Superman?" 

President Reid hesitated before answering, but there was really no choice. "Yes", she answered. Lex just nodded. He had had no doubt concerning her answer. 

"But how can you be sure he'll show up?" 

"He'll show", Lex answered. He had no doubt of that either. 

* * *

VIII. _On the Riverbank_

Memory 

On the riverbank. It's where we first met. It's where I first died. Panic filling my head as the icy water filled my lungs, burning my insides like the wrath of god. Punishment for fast cars, fast driving, a fast life. And the added guilt of knowing--knowing--I had hit someone. Because I had seen you, Clark. A blur against the backdrop of coming death. I had seen you, hit by my car. My carelessness. Not enough I should fuck myself over, I had to go down with the blood of an innocent on my hands. If you're going to do something, do it big. It's the Luthor credo. 

I remember the murky water and the clouded thoughts. The sound of rushing water that filled the Porsche, then whispered above the sunken vehicle in an angry requiem. I remember panic filling all my senses until it was that I was breathing, instead of the silt-filled water. I remember pain and fear and regret rushing me like the current for a few frantic moments until the blackness pulled me under. And I knew that I was about to die. 

And when consciousness came flooding back into my mind, and breath--your breath--filled my lungs, everything was shockingly bright. The sun burned patterns that danced on my retinas. Painful, like the first light to hit for newborn's eyes. And it halloed around you. You radiated it. You became it. And I won't be so trite as to say you looked like an angel...but... 

When light hits a prism it separates into all the colours of the visible spectrum. I can remember as a child, holding it to the window to watch it play on the walls, magic despite already knowing the science behind it. Because there are some things that fact cannot tarnish, like discovering a world of colours that had kept themselves hidden from ignorant eyes. And you...bathed in light... the prism that revealed all the colours that had been missing from my life. 

And I know now that I'm returning to the death you pulled me out of. I know that my borrowed time is up, and somewhere along the line the tick of the clock replaced you as my enemy. And I would never tell this to anyone but you Clark, but I'm scared. I'm scared to die. Lex Luthor... he's not supposed to be scared of anything. But there is the simple truth of it. I guess I'm human after all. 

Every lie you told started from that day on the bridge. The day I hit you. The day that life hit me. For all the lies, Clark... for every one you told me since the day we met... I lied to you too. I invented a tale of flight, a near death experience to rationalize the change that had occurred to me. In truth, Clark... in truth there world went from darkness to blinding light in a single moment. From nothing to everything. The truth is that death held no secrets worth knowing. 

For all my poetry and for all your faith, there was nothing that day I died. Nothing. 

Until suddenly... there was you. 

* * *

IX. _Comrades_

LeXCorp Jet, on root to Metropolis: October 19, 2021, 9:21 a.m. 

"You make me nervous when you get that look a million miles away" 

Lex pried his gaze away from the luminescent clouds that shone in warning of the coming hours, shifting it instead towards the slender brunette that had just grabbed the seat across from him. She pulled a cigarette from her pack, lighting it with a cheap plastic Bic. She inhaled nervously. Lex pulled shut the blinder on the window to black out the harsh morning light. 

"A super strong alien being with none of Clark Kent's charming small town morality has decided he'd like complete control of our planet, and it's me you're worried about? Priorities, Lois. Priorities." It was teasing in tone, but Lex read in Lois' face that it hit a little to close to the nerve and he instantly regretted the words. He didn't want to hurt Lois anymore than she was hurting. In truth, despite their sorted pasts and bad blood, she was as close as he had to a comrade, and his heart ached for her. For himself. For them. Lois plucked the cigarette from red lips, and made an offering to Lex. Lex accepted gratefully, taking a long drag to fill the silence. Lois lit a fresh one for herself. 

"Lois..." Despite the bruises, Lois was still stunning. The tiny red cuts and spreading purple blotches did nothing to hide that beauty, though they did everything to highlight the fragility. Because she looked scared and there was no comfort he could offer her. Could offer either of them. "I'm sorry", he whispered. 

Lois' eyes soften momentarily, and she looked down to hide the weakness. She was like Lex in so many ways, both too hard for their own good. Both needing Clark to smooth the sharp edges. She nodded her acceptance. "I'm sorry as well, Lex. I know that it's hard for you too." 

He let out a small bitter laugh because he wasn't sure how to respond to the comfort. They were neither of them the type of people to talk about fears and feelings. He shifted in his seat, crossing his legs in something that resembled casual. "I was dying anyway. Might as well give some purpose to it." 

"That's not what I meant, Lex." Of course it wasn't. Lex knew that. Lois trapped his eyes challengingly, daring him to feign misunderstanding. She was a damn good reporter. He made as if to speak, but thought better of it. Lois continued. 

"I used to ask him, you know. About you two. I used to curse you, and curse him for not having the balls to put an end to it once and for all. I called you an evil bastard and a menace and said the world would be better off without you in it. And do you know what he said? He said, 'Lois, you just don't understand. You don't know Lex like I do. He was my friend. He's not evil... he's just lost.' Lost. Can you believe that? You call for Superman's head on a platter, and he calls you lost. You hated him, and his response is to fucking _pity_ you." She stabbed her cigarette out. She was shutting her eyes against the threat of tears, and, when she failed to hold them in, wiping at her eyes in frustration. 

She took a choppy breath, and exhaled slowly. Her voice growing calmer, less angry and more certain. "I never understood it, you know? I thought I understood _you_ , but I never understood _him_. And then I heard what Pete said, and it got me thinking...about you...him... everything... How if you don't have to like a person to be their friend, maybe you don't have to hate them to be their enemy. And it suddenly occurred to me... I never really understood you at all, did I? _He_ understood you, and that's what allowed him to be so goddamned serene. Because you never did hate him. All that fucking time and in the sickest fucking way... you still loved him." 

And it wasn't even a question. It never had been. Lex looked away, eyes glassy with tears and no denial to be found. A heavy silence fell between them. Lex knew that he would never be able to get absolution from Clark for all that had happened since Smallville. And he never could. That Clark didn't exist anymore. And maybe he didn't deserve it anyway. But he was grateful for what Lois was offering, whether deserved or not. 

Lois just nodded, taking his silence as an affirmative. "Well, for what it's worth, he loved you too." And Lex's eyes locked on to hers in a desperate plea. For what he wasn't even sure. But Lois just nodded and got up to leave Lex with his thoughts. He stared at the already shuttered window, looking at the miles beyond and between. Lois was a good woman. He had always known that. She understood not wanting to cry in front of other people. 

* * *

X. _Last Mile_

LeXCorp Penthouse, Metropolis: October 19, 2021, 11:05 a.m. 

Three down, two to go. 

"How are you feeling, Mr. Luthor." 

"Like a pincushion, thanks for asking." Dr. Callaghan found the vein expertly in the dim light, plunging the needle in and releasing the green tinted liquid like ice water and molten metal into Lex's blood. He added the needle to the discard pile and smiled pleasantly at Lex. 

"I'm afraid that even with your unusually hearty system, we can't introduce the kryptonite all at once. We don't want you dying too quickly on us." 

"Your concern is touching. Really", Lex responded flatly. Dr. Callaghan seemed unconcerned. It was a damn good thing he was a research scientist and not a medical practitioner. 

He released the tourniquet. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes for the final dose." He left the room and Lex leaned back against the bed. He had pulled the heavy blinds shut so that only thin slivers of light from the overcast sky slipped through the cracks, leaving beams of light to settle like prison bars across the carpet. Lex was just glad it wasn't a sunny day. That would be a little too much right now. 

The door creaked open, and Lex mentally prepared how he was going to tell Callaghan to fuck off. As it turns out it was Lois who walked in the room. 

She scanned the room, taking inventory of the shadows. "Thought you could use the company", she said quietly. Lex didn't answer, which was as good as a plea to stay and they both knew it. Lois grabbed a seat on the corner of the bed, eyes still roaming the room. 

"So, seriously Lex. How are you doing?" It was that word "seriously" that encapsulated everything he always liked and respected about Lois. That she knew to expect bullshit, and she knew how to pre-empt it. 

Lex smiled weakly. "Like there are miles to go before I sleep." 

"Hmm", Lois seemed to consider that one. "Poetic." 

"Robert Frost", Lex offered. 

"Well, you always were cultured", Lois answered distractedly. She had something on her mind. Lex could read it on her face. 

"Is there something you wanted, Lois?" 

The flicker of pain that crossed the battered face let him know instantly that his phrasing had been unintentionally cruel. There were a lot of things Lois wanted right now. None of them he could give her. He knew the feeling. 

"Can I ask you a question?" It was probably the first time Lois Lane had ever asked for permission to ask a question. Lex mutely awarded his consent. "Why are you doing this?" 

Lex glanced to the nightstand where the final needle lay ready and waiting. The final nail searching for a coffin. He wasn't sure he had an answer. He wasn't sure he'd want to say if he did. 

"To be the hero? Save the world?" she offered. 

Lex laughed bitterly. "We both know there's nothing heroic about me, Lois." 

Lois seemed to mull that over for a moment. "You know, Clark used to talk about Smallville. All the wacky things that happened there. About you. I remember I once accused you of not having a decent or noble bone in your body, and he told me about this time... this time where a crazed man took a bunch of school children hostage at the fertilizer plant. And you went in, stripped off your bulletproof vest, and told the man to take you instead, knowing you didn't have the information he wanted. Clark said it was the bravest thing he ever saw." 

"I remember", Lex ruefully. "That was back when I still thought there was something in the world worth saving." He shut his eyes against the sting of tears and regret. That was a long, long time ago. It seemed like a lifetime. 

"Do you want to die, Lex?" It was such a measured question, like a teacher trying to prompt the student with a vital hint. Because she knew. And what's more, she understood. 

"I guess that's part of it", he answered honestly. "But it's also that I feel it's my job...to be the one to end this." 

Lois's face harden, her body language shifting like a dog preparing to tear a victim to shreds. She was bristling. "So that's it, is it? You just want to take Superman down? Finish the great battle?" Her voice was deadly quiet, and he knew to choose his words carefully. To explain this correctly so that she would understand. 

"Lois...Have you ever met someone that you knew instantly you were connected to?" Lois shook her head mutely, cocking it slightly in an attempt to comprehend what Lex was getting at with this seeming non sequitur. "The first moment I laid eyes on Clark I knew... I knew that I had found the key piece in my destiny. I can't even explain it, really. But it was instant. And it was certain. And it was the truest thing I had ever known." 

Lois shifted silently, letting some of the attack leak out of her posture. She was reading Lex's eyes, and finding sincerity, urging him forward. 

"I thought that our friendship would be something great. That it would save me from my life. My future. My name. And for a while, it did. I was a better man because of Clark...." He swallowed hard. "For a while. When the friendship fell apart. Fucking exploded, really. I thought that maybe I had been wrong. That I was never meant to escape my name. I was meant to own it. Because I would always be a Luthor. And he taught me that lesson." 

"He knew that, you know." Lois's eyes had never left his face. "He knew it, and he regretted it." 

A bitter smile crept over Lex's features. "So did I", he answered simply. 

Dr. Callaghan walked in without bothering to announce his presence, shattering the moment. 

"Time for your final dosage, Mr. Luthor." He grabbed the tourniquet, and tightened it around Lex's right arm, searching for the vein. He tapped at the arm to raise it to the surface, grabbing the final needle. 

"Let me do it", Lex said suddenly. And the doctor looked up incredulously. "Don't worry. I spent my formative years in Metropolis nightclubs. I know how to shoot up." 

Dr. Callaghan passed the needle to Lex's good hand. Spotting the vein, Lex slipped the sterilized steel into his skin. He injected it all in one fluid push, not even blinking. He pulled it back out and ripped off the tourniquet, climbing somewhat unsteadily to his feet. 

It was time. "Let's finish this." 

* * *

XI. _Fire or Ice_

Roof of LeXCorp, Metropolis: October 19, 2021, 11:30 a.m. 

It was always windy this high up without the shelter of other buildings. The wind licked at Lex's exposed face, cutting like shards of crushed glass. Lex stared out at the cold lifeless metal skyscrapers, reaching out towards the deadened grey sky that fell like a burial shroud over the Metropolis skyline. All these years and it was still his city. 

"Lex", a low purr that he associated momentarily with his father. He turned to see Superman, in full dress, cape flapping in the wind. He abandoned his post by the ledge to stride easily towards Clark, keeping a moderate distance from the other man in an almost conversational pose. 

"Right on time", Lex commented casually. 

"You're lucky I came, Lex. I'm a busy man." The difference in Clark was one instantly perceptible to those who knew him well. There was something hard in his eyes that replaced the normal gentleness. And the smile had less sincerity and far more edges. 

Lex glanced around disinterestedly. "Luck had nothing to do with it. I knew you'd come." 

"Hmm..." Clark looked him up and down with a concentration that probably indicated x-ray. After the examination was done, his eyes flickered back to Lex's face. "The glove is a nice look for you," Clark smirked. 

"I don't take fashion advice from a grown man dressed in spandex", Lex retorted calmly. 

"Mmm... tell me, did it hurt much when they sawed of the hand? I'd imagine it would but, you know", Clark shrugged and grinned with a kind of mock cuteness that really made Lex want to spit in his face, "...invulnerable." 

"Almost invulnerable", Lex amended. Clark's face reacted as Lex raised his prosthetic to eye level, examining it with theatrical interest before adding. "It seems that lately we share a common enemy." 

A brief look of panic crossed Clark's features as eyes re-swept the area. He relaxed slightly, obviously satisfied that there was no kryptonite to be found, and turned his attention back to Lex. His lips pulled back to reveal sharp teeth, though it was the words that were meant to draw blood. "I think we always did, Lex", he replied with a significant look. 

Lex cocked his head and spoke coolly. "What do you mean?" 

"Oh, I think you know, Lex." 

"Yeah... I guess I do", Lex answered flatly. 

"So, what do you want? Here to relive old time? I remember you give a pretty good blow job, though I'll admit", Clark dropped his tone to a mocking confidentially, "I'm running on a bit of a tight schedule." 

Lex wouldn't allow himself the flinch, though he made no effort to hide his distain. Like years before, Lex was struggling to remind himself that the man before was not Clark. "I doubt you have anything I want." 

"Really? Nothing? I would have thought you had come looking for answers." Clark took a step forward, filling the infinite space between them. "For why I couldn't ever trust you. For why you became the pathetic embittered nothing you are today. For why your going to die from your own fucking hate and stupidity like a bee that ripped it's stinger off trying to hurt an enemy way too fucking strong for it to ever do any damage to." His had dropped the contemptuous smile and was practically spitting the words in Lex's face. 

Lex just stared at him calmly because it wasn't Clark. It wasn't anybody. It was every horrid thought that had crossed his mind over the last decade wearing the face of a man he once would have died for. "I already have the answers for most, and I don't think the other really matters anymore." 

"Well, aren't you just so Zen. Dying suits you, Lex." The smile returned, though it was closer to a snarl this time. "So why are you here?" 

So it was down to business. "I'm here to stop you", spoken like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Clark looked at him with distain, but not an ounce of real apprehension. "Doesn't that ever get old?" 

Lex's faade began cracking, his voice raising angrily. Angry at the world. Angry the circumstances. Angry at this fucking prick in front of him. "You know it really does. I'm goddamn tired of it, as a matter of fact. So how about we say this is the last time and I can fucking die in peace?" He pulled free a knife he had hidden in his pants pocket, snapping open the blade with a sharp flick of the wrist and stood in wait. 

Clark furrowed his brow as he looked at the knife, chuckling slightly like the parent of a slow child. "Did exposure to kryptonite fuck you up in the head, or have you just forgotten that knives can't hurt me?" 

Lex shot Clark a mirthless grin. "Oh, I know it can't hurt _you_." Lex sunk the blade into his upper forearm, dragging it down to the wrist and ripping his shirt and opening the vein. "But this can." The blood spilled over the black leather of his glove, falling like an omen to the ground. Clark hardly had time to register the visual as he stumbled backwards in pain, falling to his knees. There was something satisfying in the posture. 

"You--", Clark chocked back a rush of nausea. "You poisoned your own fucking blood with kryptonite?" Clark's breathing was ragged, like he was suffocating on the open air. "Clever", he gasped. 

Lex nodded slowly, walking forward to stand above the kneeling demi-god, smearing a blood covered glove over Clark's left cheek, almost a caress. He held his shredded wrist tight to his body to stem the flow of red that now soaked his clothes. He was still clutching the knife in his other hand. 

Lex was knocked totally off guard as Clark broke out into a fit of hysterical giggles. He stood in bafflement, looking down at the other man. Both his stomach and jaw clenched at the sound. He cocked his head in nothing resembling amusement. "What so funny, Clark?" 

"You. You're so funny. Lex Luthor playing the big hero. Saving the world. Never mind it's the world he hates. Not Superman. Not Clark Kent." More giggles like it was the best joke he ever heard. "I'm the only one you actually love, Lex." But the laughter was cut off by a chocked cough as he struggled for breath. 

Lex fell to his knees so that he was eye level with Clark. He searched Clark's eyes. The same eyes that had ushered him back from oblivion that day on the riverbank, looking for any hint of that boy. That Clark. That Lex. He leaned in so that his lips were to Clark's ear, dropping his voice to a menacing whispered. "You're right. I do hate the world. And you're right, I did love Clark Kent. Always have. But..." Lex sunk the blood soaked knife deep into Superman's stomach. "...you're not him." 

Clark gasped in pain, blood trickling from the wound, pooling at their knees. Lex pulled back to look at Clark face. To watch him die. Clark sputtered, coughing blood, and smiled a slight smile, eyes dancing in tears, locked on Lex's with an enigmatic message. 

He moved his mouth to speak, though it took a moment before the hoarse words actually left his lips. "You're wrong about that, Lex." Clark eyes were glazing over still water in a frost as he whispered the last words that would ever pass between them. "But I forgive you." 

And then he was gone, his face falling into an expression childish peacefulness that could have been Clark at 15 years old, daydreaming about Lana, or football, or watching the stars that shine like promises in the infinite and open skies of Smallville. Lex stared into dead eyes, shaking the limp body that had fallen against him. "Clark?" He could feel his whole body trembling as he pulled the corpse of the only man he had ever called friend against his own. Who had just given the ultimate gift and exacted the ultimate revenge all in one phrase. And he screamed in blind rage against Clark's caped shoulder. 

Because Clark had been right... and all the convenient lies were washed away in the blood. There was no sense pretending. It was Clark's life he had taken, and it was the only thing left that had mattered. Lex had nothing but this. Nothing but Clark--whether he was playing friend or enemy, hero or villain. Because he did hate the world. The world was nothing but pain, and hurt, and loneliness, and the only reprieve he had ever been given was Clark's smile. 

The alarm on the remote Lex had placed in his coat pocket sounded, warning him that there were precious few moments before the detonation of the weapons. Laying Clark's body on the ground, he pulled out the remote, staring at it dumbfounded, like he wasn't sure what it was. He staggered unsteadily to his feet, making his way towards the edge of the rooftop. He looked out appraisingly over Metropolis. His city. His world. 

Fuck them all. 

With what little strength he had left he threw the remote off the building, collapsing soon after, his blood loss making it hard to keep balance. He crawled his way back to Clark, no longer trying to stop the bleeding. Clark was dead, and he was dying. He laid himself down next to Clark, head resting on the motionless chest. He closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to pull him under, back to the emptiness where he belonged. The last thing he heard were panicked cries of people far below, and he opened his eyes just enough to see thick clouds of green spreading across the sky, suffocating the open air. Lex shut his eyes, allowing the thick nothingness to overtake him. 

It was just like drowning. 

* * *

_But if it had to perish twice_  
 _I think I know enough of hate_  
 _To say that for destruction ice_  
 _Is also great_  
 _And would suffice_. 

- _Robert Frost_


End file.
